To worry, or not to worry...

Chance hates having his picture taken, so it’s always a challenge to get pictures of him. In the past I’ve had to beg, bribe, and promise never to ask him again, only to break the promise and then promise again. And then the cycle repeats it’s self. I learned a long time the best approach is a non-obtrusive one with my camera, and go for the sneak attack when possible. When Chance deployed the first time I was able to sneak in one last picture before he left. The second time he deployed, I managed to get him to turn around and I snagged a picture. Since this is apparently going to be a way of life for him and for me, I thought it would be cool to make the deployment picture a tradition. So when he deployed on September 5, I followed him around the airport with my camera, waiting for the right moment. Success!

First Deployment 06-29-09




Second Deployment 07-26-2011



Third Deployment - September 5, 2011




I wish I could say this deployment stuff is getting easier. It’s so hard when Chance is in Afghanistan. I’m such a control person and dealing with a situation that is out of my control, on a daily basis, is hard for me. I was thinking about it earlier and realized the only way to have complete peace is to have complete trust. Letting go and trusting is so hard for me, but that’s where God wants me to be with Him. What a disappointment it must be for God when I sit and worry about situations!

I recently read some old sermon notes that encouraged me in my struggle with worry. One of the things I wrote down was, “If you can trust God with your life, your eternity, then you can trust Him with your circumstance. There isn’t anything going on that has God nervous. He is not pacing Heaven, hoping things go His way. He has you, he’s saying, “I’ve got this, you don’t have to worry about it.”

I have two bulletin boards in my office with some of my favorite sayings, quotes and Bible verses on it, so I can look up and read them at any time. Interestingly enough, most of them deal with “worry!” Here are some of my favorites -

~Let go... and trust God!
~Worry is the misuse of imagination.
~Before me, even as behind, God is and all is well. Whittler
~I will love God supremely, I will trust God completely. There never has been, nor will there ever be, a moment when God is not present with me.
~I am not allowing worry to rob me of my peace. My faith in God and His divine plan assures me that everything will be just fine.
~Since God is in complete control of everything and everyone... And I have a personal relationship with Him and He has a personal relationship with me, I have the courage to face anything that comes my way, with no fear whatsoever.
~Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
~Thou will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee, because He trusteth in thee.” Isaiah 26:3
~And the peace of God which passes all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Jesus Christ. Philippians 4:7

And my new favorite quote which I made up, encourages me and speaks volumes to me ~ “My yesterdays give me faith for my tomorrows!”

In awe...

Once again, I stand amazed at God’s protection over Chance and the troops!

We have a code that Chance uses to let us know when he’s going on a mission. He knows that I’ll put phone calls and emails into place, getting people to pray for him and the troops that are with him.

Through communication with Chance, we knew Monday that he was preparing to head out on a mission. I contacted people and put prayers in motion for him and the troops. I began praying Psalm 91 and some other verses over Chance, praying for God’s protection over him and the troops. He’s always in my thoughts and prayers, but even more so when I know he’s on a mission.

The next morning, when I turned on my computer, I read where five troops had been killed in a roadside bomb. You can imagine where my thoughts started to take me. Right then, I made up my mind that I wouldn’t go “there,” that I would hold on to the promises of God that I had been praying. I kept repeating Psalm 112:7, “He will have no fear of bad news, his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.” And Isaiah 49:23, “Those who hope in the Lord will not be disappointed.”

Yesterday morning the phone rang and when I answered, I heard Chance’s voice. I couldn’t hold back the tears, and started crying. He wanted to know if I was OK and I replied, “I am now!” He said, “The prayers worked, they really, really worked!” Well, not only did the prayers “work,” they worked in miraculous ways!

Chance explained that a mine sweeper is sent ahead to detect IED’s. The Taliban has figured out how to rig the IED’s so they skip the mine sweeper and hit one of the vehicles behind it. Chance was riding in the vehicle behind the mine sweeper on the mission. The mine sweeper hit an IED and exploded, along with part of the truck Chance was in. Amazingly, all the guys escaped without any injury, and they were able to drive the truck back to their base!

It is nothing short of a miracle that the mine sweeper set off the IED, and not the vehicle Chance was traveling in. I had prayed on Tuesday that God would show up in a miraculous way, and boy did He ever! Jim suggested that next time, I ask for God to not show up quiet as strong! This is the second time that Chance has literally seen prayers answered while on a mission. What a faith strengthener for him, for us and for all the people praying for him!!!

My heart hurts for the families of the five troops that were killed on Tuesday and my prayers go out to them. Their situation makes me even more aware of how blessed I am. My heart is overflowing with gratitude to the creator of the universe!

Deployment #2

It’s official. As of the end of July, Chance is back in Afghanistan for his second deployment and time once again, seems to be moving at a snail’s pace. Yes, it is true, time is too slow for those who wait!

Jim and I went to Kentucky to spend a couple of days with Chance before he left, and to see him off. I wondered if it would be as hard and emotional as it was last time, and it wasn’t quiet as bad. Almost, but not as bad. I was determined not to cry at the airport and almost made it, but at the last minute I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. Both times, Chance made it a little easier, leaving with a smile.



The ride home wasn’t near as bad either. Jim and I were in better spirits this time around and even talked. (If you read my post on 7-09-09, you’ll see where we couldn’t even talk on the way home last time.) I think knowing what to expect and how often we were able to communicate with Chance, has helped us as we face “round 2.” I used to joke about how we look like two crazed idiots when he called, sitting side by side with the phone on speaker phone, so we could both hear what he was saying. We’ve already started the “crazed idiot” thing when he calls. Guess it’s going to be a precedent for us when he’s over there.

As we survived before with a lot of faith and prayers, we will survive this deployment the same way, only this time we’ll have a little more faith, being made stronger through our past experience.

Amazing Answer to Prayer!

When Chance told us last Friday he wouldn’t be able to chat for a few days, we knew he was going on a mission. I began praying for a hedge of protection around him, his JTAC and the guys with him, and that no weapon formed against them would prosper.

When I was at church Sunday I went to the altar for prayer and ask a friend to pray with me for the mission Chance was on. She asked God to put a bullet proof hedge of protection around Chance and the troops. She also prayed the same prayer I had been praying “that no weapon formed against them would prosper.” I asked several other friends that pray for him to lift him up in prayer for the mission he was on.

Monday night when we got home there was a message from Chance on our answering machine telling us that he was back on his base and everything was OK. Tuesday morning we were able to chat with him on the computer and he was able to share a little about the mission. He said they encountered a very complex attack with no cover. The guys who had been in that area before said it was the worst attack they had ever experienced there.

Chance said that there were some things that should have hit them, but didn’t. Rockets that hit right in front of them should have caused major damage. Instead of exploding where they landed, they skipped into the air and blew up. At one point he and five other guys were alone on a hill where most of the fire was concentrated. They all escaped without injury. He posted a picture of a rucksack with bullet holes in it. Prior to getting hit, he was in the area where the rucksack was.

Chance knows that there are a lot of people praying for his safe return and even more so when he leaves for a mission. He said the first thing he thought about after the attack was that prayers had been answered. By having our prayers answered in such miraculous ways, it strengthened our faith, Chance’s faith and the faith of the people praying for the mission. Seems there was a bullet proof hedge of protection around the troops on that mission and no weapons formed against them prospered. Praise God!

Isaiah 54:17 No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper.

Grocery Cart Madness

All that’s left for our trip is packing the suitcase. Today was spent baking, running errands and getting everything together that I don’t want to forget. I made a pound cake batter, baked it in some sweet flower muffin pans that Jami gave me, tied them up in cellophane with ribbons, attached Bible verses and put them in a basket to take to the Schweers. Cookies were baked and some are on their way to Chance, some given to friends and the rest are packed to take to Port St. Joe.

Time to rest, relax and smile.

Thought it would be a good time to blog a little about Chance's Scrapbook. I seem to have kept more of Chance’s school papers than the other kids. Maybe I had more space to pack school keepsakes by the time he was in school than I did with the other kids? Most of his papers had the date on them making it even more fun, when putting a scrapbook together for his high school graduation. I’m sure I enjoyed making the scrapbook way more than he enjoyed getting it. Lots of sweet memories are in that book. The following is one of the entries.

October 3, 1995, Chance wrote: “ I was really embarrassed when I was in Winn Dixie. I was driving the grocery cart and I was not paying attention. Then I ran into an aisle of pickle relish. That was the most embarrassing thing in my life.”

On May 23, 3004, I wrote: “You were embarrassed??? Can you begin to imagine how I felt? The story goes that your Dad and I were grocery shopping with you and Brandon. You were on your stomach on the bottom of the grocery cart, with your arms outstretched, paddling them as you would a boat, making the cart careen down the isle. I yelled, “Stop Chance” at least three times before you CRASHED the cart into a six-foot high display of jars of pickle relish. The entire tower crashed. Thankfully you weren’t hurt. Since you were on the bottom of the car, you were protected. The jars broke and rolled all over the place, even as far as the meat department. Your dad snatched you and Brandon up and ran out the door leaving me standing there by myself. There I stood all alone as people from all over the store ran to see what the commotion was about.”

At a later date, I’ll post about the fire extinguisher incident. It was just as bad, if not worse.

My First Blog!

I have intended to start a blog for a long time, but kept postponing it simply because I did not know where to start. I have stashes of notes, letters and journals that I have wanted to put on a blog. Herein lies the problem. There are so many things I want to blog about that to find a starting point seems overwhelming.

I recently heard an incredible message at Canvas Church by Adam Boudreaux. Adam's spoke about remembering God. He said that we have markers in our lives, moments where God shows Himself strong in our lives. Adam talked about the importance of remembering those markers. They remind us of how God has delivered in our lives and shown up for us. Listening to the message that day I realized I have many of those markers in my life and I need to write them down. Those markers will be invaluable to me on my journey through life. They will be a reminder of God's grace and how He can bring me peace in the storms of my lives. Maybe my markers will be an encouragement to somebody going through a difficult time in their life.

Not only will my blog be about the "markers" in my life, it will be a menagerie of just about everything. There will be blogs taken from journal entries as well as letters, memories, recipes and everyday happenings. Some will be fun and humorous and others won't be, but that's life. I want my blog to reflect every aspect of my life, both the good times and the bad. With my ADD issues, it should be interesting and entertaining.

For my first blog entry I'm going to write about an amazingly fun, yet bittersweet weekend. Jim and I rarely take long road trips. Our road trips consist of short ones to see my parents or the grandkids, and that's only an hour's drive at the most. I always enjoy our road trips, no matter what the distance because we spend the time talking about our lives, our kids, our future, our faith, and anything else we can think of. On June 29 we ended up taking a long road trip that was out of the ordinary compared to our usual road trips.

This particular road trip actually began with a plane trip to Nashville, TN on Friday, June 26. Chance was deploying to Afghanistan and we went to spend the weekend with him and drive his car back to our house. Jami and Matt decided to surprise Chance and drove all the way from Dallas to Nashville with their two kids in tow to spend the weekend. It has been over a year since Jim and Chance has seen Eisley Grace, and they had yet to have the opportunity to meet Beck. Knowing they were coming, it had to be a fun filled weekend, and I was not disappointed in the least.

Jami and Matt arrived in Nashville on Thursday. Jami called Chance to ask if he had plans for the night. He asked why and she asked if he wanted to do something with them since they were in Nashville. Not only was he surprised, he was in awe that they drove that far with two little ones just to spend the time with him.

We had adjoining rooms with Jami and Matt. Every morning Eisley would come into our room and crawl in bed with Jim and me. Then she would ask, "Wake up Uncle Chance?" and go get in his bed. She would pounce on him and say, "Wake up, the sun is shining." Keep in mind that the curtains were closed and the windows of the room faced a brick wall, keeping the room very dark. She would persist, telling him that she sun was shining, until he woke up. He loved every minute of it. It could not have been a more perfect weekend for all of us. Thanks to Eisley Grace, we had plenty of smiles and laughter.

Early the next morning Jim and I drove Chance to Ft. Campbell. We were able to spend the morning watching the guys prepare for their deployment. The five guys who were deploying lined up and their fellow airman told them goodbye and wished them well. Witnessing this exchange made me even more thankful that we had made the trip to Kentucky. After their goodbyes we drove Chance to the airport. He gave me a big long hug. I asked for one more picture and he turned, gave me the biggest smile (unusual for him when it comes to pictures) and walked away.

I have to say taking Chance to the airport is probably number 1 on my top ten list of "difficult mom moments." I got in the car, tears flowing and realized I wasn't the only one in the car crying. Jim and I drove off in silence. Our hearts ached to the point we just couldn't talk. Silence and more silence. There was some small talk when we needed gas or something to eat, but our usual road trip conversation was missing.

About six hours into the trip I received this text message from Chance. "You guys mean more to me than you'll ever know. Couldn't ask for better parents, love you and see you in January." He will never know just how much that text meant to us.

During the trip, I reflected back to the day I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was December 22, 1995. The doctor told us that I had cancer and the the tumor was deep into my chest wall. Depending on the pathology report, I might not live to February. When we came home from the hospital, Chance and Brandon came running in the house to find out what the doctor had said. We had made the decision to tell them I had cancer and nothing more. They both started crying and I told them it would be OK. I knew in my heart that with God, it would be alright, no matter what the pathology report, and I had to completely trust Him. Chance's deployment is no different, I have to let go, place complete trust in God knowing that it's all going to be alright.