About me...

Pop the lid on my Mason Jar and meet my family. Jim {Jimma} and I have four kids, Creston (Ashley), Jami (Matt), Brandon and Chance. Our grandkids, Cade, Kirby, Eisley, Beck and Reed bring us more joy than any Mason Jar could ever hold. I am counting my blessings over and over and thanking God for His amazing love and grace.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

A New Perspective

It all caved in Monday night!  It’s the first time I’ve seen my husband really down about his pain and the first pity party he has thrown. And boy let me tell you, did he ever throw a good one.  Tears stung my eyes as I listened to him.  Other than a breakdown a few weeks ago, I feel like I’ve been coping better than how I typically cope, but watching him tonight brought on the tears.

Jim was struggling with cutting up his food and getting it to his mouth., when he dropped a piece of meat on the floor.  That did it.  I could see the aggravation as he pushed his plate aside.  Instead of keeping my big mouth shut, I thought I could make it all better with my “there are people who would trade places in a heartbeat, think how blessed we are” speech, which didn’t fly with him.  Wrong speech and even worse, wrong time to say it.  I got an earful as he struggled to get out of the chair and headed upstairs.  I went right to my office and cried out to God about how weary we both are of this relentless pain and how much we need some relief and hope.

I knew I needed to find the right verses or devotion to read, so I picked up my prayer journal to see what verses I had wrote down.  Nothing there that seemed to apply to what I needed.  And then I saw “the book”.  The book I bought at a yard sale given by friends of a lady who had died from breast cancer, to help raise money for the bills she left behind.  The first time I started reading the book, I saw a yellow sheet of paper with a prayer list wrote on it.  Reading her prayer list I was struck by how similar we write out our prayers and felt like there was an unknown reason why I picked that specific book to purchase.  A third of the way through the book, I felt like it just wasn’t speaking to me.  I lost interest, put it aside to give away and started another book.

Tonight I was drawn back to the book and flipped through to find where I left off.  Instead, I ended up in on a chapter that I had previously read, only this time it spoke to me and I realized it was exactly what I needed to read!  God had led me to a chapter that had everything in it to calm me, bring me peace and give me a whole new perspective about the bigger picture.

I always write in my prayer journal verses and passages from books I read when it’s something that feeds my soul.  Monday night I was literally writing entire pages out of the book.  Here is a summary of some key points that I read:

***God’s will doesn’t always go in a straight line, like we want it to.  From point A to point B we won’t see a clear connection, the pattern in what is happening or understand the plan.  God’s plan is way bigger than our plan.  Not only is He concerned with our needs, He is concerned with the corporate need as well.  How awesome is that?  The plot lines of our stories weave together to form His master plan.  He knows the beginning from the end and operates accordingly.  His plan may not follow our logic and it may go against what we believe it should, but It’s His plan and it’s the right plan.  He may not move according to our schedule (boy have I learned that one), but He is right on time for what is best, and He has our ultimate goal in His mind!  Wow, hanging on to that statement alone has already made a difference in helping me cope!

***God’s ways are not our ways, but His character is dependable!  When we can’t see the end of the story, we can trust the storyteller.  No matter what you are going through, remind yourself that God loves you passionately and only wants the best for you.  God’s timing rarely coincides with our timing and while He’s never late, he’s rarely early and that’s why we need to trust His schedule as well as His character. Jesus was four days too late to heal Lazarus, but He was right on time for a resurrection.! When you think He is too late, trust in His timing.  The most important part might be yet to come.

Needless to say, I went to bed Monday night feeling more at peace, with a little more faith and a greater understanding of God’s plan.  Tuesday morning I woke up early and went for my morning walk feeling refreshed.  A little way into my walk I reached in my pocket and hit the panic button!  Yes, after everything I had read the night before, I panicked!.  Sometimes I struggle with hypoglycemia, so I always have a piece of candy in my pocket when I walk, only this time the candy wasn’t in my pocket.  I turned around and headed  back to our house.  I finished the walk with no problems, went upstairs to take a shower and found a piece of candy in my back pocket.  I had wore the shorts briefly a few days earlier, put the candy in my back pocket and forgot all about it.

My first thought finding the candy was that without knowing it, I had protection in my back pocket the entire walk. Right away I related the experience to God.  Even at times when we’re not aware of it, His protection and love has us covered.  He knows every detail of what Jim and I are going through and it’s all going according to His perfect plan.  Not just for our lives, but for the lives of others as well,  in ways we cannot begin to fathom.  Trusting in His character and His timing will help bring us peace when the storms of life crash around us!