Dad's Follow Up Appointment

Dad’s doctor told Mom in August that he suspected Dad has Alzheimer’s and recommended she take him to see a neurologist. The doctor gave her some medicine for the Alzheimer’s. Because Mom’s memory is so bad, it’s unclear whether she gave Dad the medicine. It was after Dad fell at the post office in December, that Mom made the appointment with the neurologist, Dr. Quick.

There has been a noticeable change in Dad since he fell, and we had hopes that the fall could be blamed for his confusion and hallucinations. I met Mom and Dad on Monday for the follow up appointment with Dr. Quick and to get the results of the second EEG. Dr. Quick said he was hoping against hope that the EEG would show some improvement, but there is none. All indicators are Alzheimer’s and he thinks the fall has made the situation worse.

Dr. Quick explained what we need to do to protect Dad and what we can expect to take place. As he talked I heard Mom sniffing and I couldn’t bring myself to look at her. I knew she was crying. If I had turned to look at her, I would have broke down in tears, and I didn’t think it would be good for Dad to see us crying. As I write, I have a heart of regret and tears in my eyes, for not turning to her and putting my arms around her.

Every time Mom brings the situation up about Dad, I remind her that we have to be thankful for what we’ve had. In trying to be strong and encourage her, I feel I have closed the door on her being able to share her thoughts, feelings and fears with me. I have not acknowledged her pain and heartache and that’s something I need to do, for both of us. Telling her to be thankful when her world is falling apart, is easy for me to say, but hard for her to appreciate. Mom needs someone to cry out to, and I haven’t been there for her. I can only imagine how hard this is for her, and I’ve got to become a better listener and be more understanding. It’s hard to know the best way to be there for her, but I know how she would react if it were me, and that’s the way I need to be for her.